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Making sure there is always bad weather to report

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Several TV stations are now using souped-up Hummers not only as their mobile weather stations, but also as educational tools for schoolchildren. ABC 15 in Phoenix is quite proud of its brightly airbrushed “Weather Hummer,” and their Weather on Wheels website features the Hummer in graphics and interactive puzzles for kids. The Hummer also accompanies the staff meteorologists on their educational trips to area schools.

I can just imagine how those lessons go: "You see kids...giant vehicles like our Weather Hummer here are the second-largest source of carbon dioxide emissions in the U.S. The pollutants it spews collect in our atmosphere like a thickening blanket, trapping the sun's heat and causing our planet to warm up. This warming trend leads to conditions that can make weather reporting a REAL ADVENTURE, like wildfires, drought, dust storms, flooding, and bigger and badder hurricanes! And that's why it’s only safe to perform our duties from inside this tank...Ok, while we have your attention--can any of you boys and girls spot us a few bucks for gas?"

The Storm Chaser joins the ranks of other ill-advised uses for the famous combat-utility vehicle (CUV), like...

...shuttling around the staff of classy dining establishments


...ensuring a most memorable high school prom


[more brilliant uses for Hummers after the jump]

...promoting the world's most well-known and best-selling doll


...transporting California' governor around to pass landmark environmental legislation


...being loud AND destructive


...harassing exotic livestock on your wealthy friend's property


...as the canvas for an ironic memorial to nature


What will you do with your Hummer?


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